There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Create each day anew.

As an American people, what is greatest about our history are the many times we have led this world away from hate, towards hope.

How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

There is only one question. And once you know the answer to that question there are no more to ask.

My decision was sparked by affirmative action. There was a point in my life when affirmative action would have meant something to me - when my family was working-class, and we were struggling.

The hill pines were sighing, O'ercast and chill was the day; A mist in the valley lying Blotted the pleasant May.

I think we have to get beyond the idea that we have to categorize people.

I'm not a genetically superior person. I built my body.