There's not enough bad taste! I LOVE bad taste! I live for bad taste! I am the spokesman for bad taste!

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

But tolerance by itself can be a cover for moral laziness.

The initial motivation of the experiment which led to this discovery was a subconscious feeling for the inexhaustible wealth of nature, a wealth that goes far beyond the imagination of man.

Fame is a powerful aphrodisiac.

One day after laying a wreath at the tomb of Martin Luther King Jr., President Bush appoints a federal judge who has built his career around dismantling Dr. King's legacy.

The greatness that would make us grave, Is but an empty thing. What more than mirth would mortals have? The cheerful man's a king.

Mrs. O' Leary is my pet. I couldn't let you stick a sword in her rump, now, could I? That might've scared her.

It seems we are often guilty of being more interested in defending God's Word than in studying it.

Prudery is a kind of avarice, the worst of all.