There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Only two classes of books have universal appeal. The very best and the very worst.

Free people were not ruled. Freedom had first to be valued before its existence could be demanded.

You make me a sinner if you stop me giving you hospitality.

The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within - strength, courage, dignity.

You need to get up in the morning and say, 'Boy, I'm going to - in my own stupid way - save the world today.'

One wound is enough to feed the open wounds of the sky.

The memory fades, and I’m left hanging on to the ghosts of his words.

Steps are what you take when you think you have forever.

I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way. Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.

I'm actually way more funny now, because I'm hungry... If comedy comes from pain, I should be funnier now than I ever was.