There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

The heat from his penetration sends a shockwave through my entire being.”—Sofia Herrera (Total Abandonment, Unbearable Passion, #4)

Friendship is a union of spirits a marriage of hearts and the bond there of virtue.

The moment the game (AL Pennant versus the Twins) was over I sprinted for the dugout. The fans were pouring onto the field. If they'd caught me they'd have torn my uniform into shreds for souvenirs.

If we were living in ancient Rome or Greece, I would be considered sickly and unattractive. The times dictate that thin is better for some strange reason, which I think is foolish.

Nell Zink is a writer of extraordinary talent and range. Her work insistently raises the possibility that the world is larger and stranger than the world you think you know.

He who falls in love meets a worse fate than he who leaps from a rock.

These days we are all pained by the disaster caused by the hurricane in the United States of America.

I always want to learn but I am sure on my dying day I will feel like I left something in the bucket.

The drum is surely the lord of music, is it not?

Fashion is killing women's body image of themselves.