There's nothing colder than chemistry.

A kiss on the hand may feel very, very good, but a diamond and sapphire bracelet lasts forever.

Gentlemen prefer blondes... but gentlemen marry brunettes.

I've had my best times when trailing a Mainbocher evening gown across a sawdust floor. I've always loved high style in low company.

Memory is more indelible than ink.

I always say that a girl never really looks as well as she does on board a steamship, or even a yacht.

Fate keeps on happening.

Does this boat go to Europe, France?

I've always loved high style in low company.

Any girl who was a lady would not even think of having such a good time that she did not remember to hang on to her jewelry.

I've never known a Philadelphian who wasn't a downright 'character'; possibly a defense mechanism resulting from the dullness of their native habitat.

It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances when you're not safe when you're not in the middle of the road...

The best way to earn paradise in the afterlife is to create it in your life and in the life of your neighbor

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

I have found that I have no unusual endowments of intellect, but this day I resolve that I will be an uncommon Christian.

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."

Let a man behave in his own house as a guest.

Marriage is a garden that I'm constantly growing in.

Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing.