There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time.

A journey inward may end in defeatFor life as we know it was made by machines

I believe most of the public should be involved in the election of the leadership.

I beg you take courage the brave soul can mend even disaster.

Pride is a funny thing; it can make what is truly worthless appear to be a treasure.

I kind of like that thing of you being caught up. You think you can judge someone, and before you know it, you've been swayed by them, and actually you want more of them.

A lot will depend on who [Donald] Trump chooses for key cabinet positions, but even more will depend on his consultations with his key advisor (himself).

When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.

Ignorance is not something that lends itself to a meaningful discussion.

We are not only gregarious animals, liking to be in sight of our fellows, but we have an innate propensity to get ourselves noticed, and noticed favorably, by our kind.