There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

Homo-Americanus is going to go on speaking and writing the way he always has, no matter what dictionary he owns.

Mother Florence had once told her that jealousy was the worst of all faults because it prevented a person from being who they were born to be.

Well no, I think we won't have that problem but as far as paparazzi I'm speaking, I will deal with that.

One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.

There's art on the show that's really bad - these cliché Abstract Expressionist gestural things. It's almost like extensions of my performance, because in the scene I'm really mad.

Explore everything; keep the best

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.

[Kindness] is a most edifying form of instant gratification.

The hardest habit of all to break is the terrible habit of happiness.