There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Cooperation is doing with a smile what you have to do anyhow.

I once was absolutely useless, and God in His grace has made me useful.

There is a possibility that your ability as a player may well be analysed by future generations on your one day statistics. That's the day I dread most.

You never know where you stand - and I like that. I like to be on edge.

The reason he [Duke Kahanamouku] didn't like me was that I liked him too much.

Gather quickly Out of darkness All the songs you know And throw them at the sun Before they melt Like snow.

I care what is actually true, even more than what I hope is true.

There is something that happens when you get emancipated. You approach life differently. You eat differently. You respect yourself more. You respect the gift you have been given.

The first step is you have to say that you can.

I will praise any man that will praise me.