There's something very refreshing about being on stage.

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over

The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.

And after you've done the acting, there's a lot of places you can put your input - in the editing, in the production of it, in the rewriting of it and so on

I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just relaxed.

Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.

If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.

A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.

There was a period where our child's birth was getting really close, and we still had nothing. We were dangerously close to calling him Untitled Baby Project.

A computer would deserve to be called intelligent if it could deceive a human into believing that it was human.

Me, I'm just a hack. I'm just a schlep-per. I just do what I can do.

I love movies, but I think people think relationships are supposed to go how they go in movies. The ones I like are the ones that represent life.

I would never do another sitcom. It was so boring I wanted to pull my fingernails off.

Some changes of language are to be regretted, as they lead to false inferences, and society is always a loser by mistaking names for things.

I like to see life with its teeth out.

Bashful=Spanish, Miss Gardenia Doc=Psychology, Mr. Wang Happy=Chemistry 2, Mr. Durbin Dopey=English Lit., Mr. Purcell Dippy=Math, Mrs. Craig Dumbass=PE, Coach Crater

Some audiences can shake and bang their heads on the stage to riffs all night long, but subtlety is an art that must be mastered if you're going to be remembered.

After Andy Warhol died, it left a dark cloud over N.Y.C. nightlife.