There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Passion ignites your innate desire to create, produce, give and grow.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

I can be a new Di Stefano, but I can't be a new Pelé. He is the one that goes beyond the limits of logic.

White people think when you love yourself you hate them. No, when I love myself they become irrelevant to me.

Let the generations know that women in uniform also guaranteed their freedom.

We had this scene where I'm supposed to be bending over to get something. I thought it was kind of cute.

Brayden met my eyes. His were hazel, almost like Eddie’s but with a little green. Not as much green as Adrian’s, of course. No one’s eyes were that amazingly green.

When you are dead, seek for your resting place not in the earth, but in the hearts of men.

It's not forever', she'd said, but to my mother, it might as well have been. She had make her choice, and this was it, where she felt safe, in a world she could, for the most part, control.

Reserve may be pride fortified in ice; dignity is worth reposing on truth.