There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

Its not how strong you are, its how firm your footing is.

dear today, i spend all of you pretending i'm okay when i'm not, pretending i'm happy when i'm not, pretending about everything to everyone.

Brave is the thief who carries a lamp in his hand.

True eloquence consists in saying all that is necessary and nothing but what is necessary.

Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For my darling, I love you, and I always will.

If you want to do one good thing in the world, the best thing you can do is give other people joy.

Family home evening is for everyone.... We need the strength that comes from family home evening.

The song of thrush and blackbird, joy that falls so gently on the ears to celebrate another day of life and living, flying free.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

I can give the loser leave to chide.