There was a 10- and 8-year difference between us, so my brothers were into tormenting me and I was into getting away from them.

I don't know if I'd call myself a prodigy, but I was a big forensics competitor in high school, and then during college I spent some time working at speech and debate camps as a coach.

I'm unfortunately very verbose too often.

I do have a dirty sense of humor.

When I left college, I was out of work for three years. I had this dream of being on 'SNL,' and that was all I could imagine.

When you have a kid, it changes your life. It reminds you, this is my life now: I'm responsible for this tiny person. It's so surreal.

Hollywood is the kind of place that takes what you do well in one thing and manufactures it so the joy can be taken out of it.

I love polarizing people.

I was trained as a straight dramatist.

In real life, Josh [Gad] is a different kind of lovable idiot. In real life, he's a much filthier idiot. He has a dirty sense of humor.

I was like a Borscht Belt comedian trapped in the body of a 6-year-old. I was channeling Jackie Mason at 7.

If your only goal is to become rich then use Cosmic Ordering.

This was the most unkindest cut of all For when the noble Caesar saw him stab Ingratitude more strong than traitor's arm Quite vanquish'd him then burst his mighty heart.

The most superior of scientific goals is to embrace a maximum of experiment with a minimum of hypotheses.

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

It's true we're all a little insane.

If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now "grieving" for "Calvin and Hobbes" would be wishing me dead.

You can tell the difference between songs that were created in a garage and songs that were created in the studio.

It's not about 'NBC is evil.' It's about that media structure - CBS, ABC, CNN, even some of the smaller operations are now multinationals, with these extraordinarily diverse holdings.

I’m lookin in the mirror & I see a dollar sign, I had a cat scan & I had money on my mind

We are talking about Christianizing America. We are talking about the Gospel in a political context.