There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

A persons limitations are only measured by their drive to succeed

...once you've crawled into what's commonly thought of as the sordid underbelly of life, you realize it's all just different versions of normal.

A monster, some called her. But in the shadows, only said in whispers, she was an angel in red.

I’m sorry you asked me out, otherwise maybe I could have liked you.

Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control.

I believe in a non-killing future.

Love is looking at the same mountains from different angles.

My hips don't lie and I don't lie either!

I write strictly for fun... as long as it stays fun I'll continue to do it.

The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life, but that it bothers him less and less.