There was a man and he had eight sons. Apart from that, he was nothing more than a comma on the page of History. It's sad, but that's all you can say about some people.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Vigorous writing is concise.

males conspicuously leaving their mark to let others know where they weren't welcome.

Don't fear opening a Gift God gives you simply because the packaging isn't 't what you expected..we can't know what's in a gift given until it's unwrapped

The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success.

Only brand names register in the mind... What you should generally do is take a regular word and use it out of context to connote the primary attribute of your brand.

I love reader mail, and I do read it, but I won't read hate mail.

On the aesthetic level, decolonized music presents itself as a direct antagonist to the traditional values promoted by the culture industry.

It's the only thing that keeps me going these days, travelling. Changes of scene, changes of faces

You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink!

Empires rise and fall like the abdomen of God. It's just the universe breathing.