There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

The house is a factory.

People are shaped by friendship as much as by romance.

Science is unpoetic only to minds jaundiced with sentiment and romanticism . . . the great masters of the past boasted all they could of it and found it magical.

If ever I want to amuse myself with an idiot, I have not far to look for one. I laugh at myself.

You can improve your talent, but your talent is a given, a mysterious constant. You must make it the best of its kind.

I don't think people are terribly interested in young artists who were doing interesting thing, but I don't think people are terribly interested in young artists.

A lot of the stuff I listen to is glitchy electronic stuff and stuff with beats.

When you recognize good writing and you're lucky enough to get it, like with Lost, that's what I follow.

Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that God has sent everyone else away so that there is only you and Him.

Hollywood is a place where the stars twinkle until they wrinkle.