There was a sound like a garbage bag of pudding dropped off a tall building onto a sidewalk. Robert had erupted, chunks slapping off the walls in every direction.

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

To this day I don’t know if he was struggling with the moral implications of gunning down half a dozen civilians, or if he was mentally counting to see if he had that many shells left in the gun.

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It’ll be time to start a Web site soon, where you’ll type out everything in one huge paragraph.

Here’s exclusive Channel 5 video of a local man having his brain eaten by a winged gremlin. Local gremlin experts warn that—

... life is a flickering candle we all carry around. A gust of wind, a meaningless accident, a microsecond of carelessness, and it's out. Forever.

You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud.

My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

I'm scared David""That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of

A dead eagle he might have buried, but he had chosen rather to light a fire for a phoenix.

Raise $500 for a thing you care about because you actually get the experience of taking an idea and actually doing it. There are fewer and fewer excuses not to.

You must understand, that for a daughter to protect her father's image is natural; Freud built a whole career around it.

Life and death and birth is this fantastic mystery that we cannot fully grasp.

Life isn't fair," he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.

I look at people like musical instruments. I set people to music.

Good work is not done by 'humble' men

Psychologically, I’m very confused… But personally, I don’t feel bad at all.

I take six or seven years to write really small books. There is a kind of aesthetic of leanness, of brevity.

Our planet is a tiny atom in god's kingdom.