There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

What you decide to be today, you will become tomorrow.

I always think the opening moments of a party are the hardest, before everyone has had enough to drink.

Give up good to welcome great.

The most emotional cost in life is to love someone who does not care.

We just all need to stick together and unite, be together and support one another.

Yip cabbage on three!

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then.

We're living or dying. We're already dead, the living dead. So do what you gotta do. Take care of your family, of yourself as a whole, and everything will be alright.

We like to buy stocks which we feel are undervalued and then we have to have the guts to buy more when they go down.

[ Lady Susan novel by Jane Austen is] extremely difficult to adapt. I worked on it for years, for, like, ten years, before I started showing it to people. This was my back-burner project.