There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.

By acknowledging my impermanence, I can consider if there is anything I can do now to help my loved ones who will be left behind cope with losing me and to facilitate healing.

you're deluding yourself that you have some deep spiritual connection, like you didn't just read it on Wikipedia. There's a difference between tradition and culture.

Christmas is a whisper of peace and a sigh of hope on the lips of love.

Funny, for all surveillance, Osama bin Laden is still free—and we're not. Guess who's winning the "war on terror?

Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.

We can never be a nation of snobs so long as we are willing to poke fun at ourselves.

When I believe in something, I'm very passionate. I don't take 'no' for an answer.

Whenever you share love with others, you'll notice the peace that comes to you and to them.

When you're in a band and there's five of you, you have to accommodate five people in every song.