There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, "Why am I here? What am I doing?"

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

You must know the size of your calling and its value

Nowadays the rage for possession has got to such a pitch that there is nothing in the realm of nature, whether sacred or profane, out of which profit cannot be squeezed.

A man of over thirty might be held to be at the height of his powers, but not necessarily of his wisdom.

On the essentials, unity. On the nonessentials, liberty. In everything, charity.

We believe that the materials and the stories taken from the raw can be finer (more real in the philosophic sense) than the acted article.

The one in front of the gun lives forever

Occupation is the necessary basis of all enjoyment.

I would not rule out going to Israel because I disapprove of the foreign policy any more than I would refuse to play in the UK because I disapprove of Tony Blair's foreign policy.

Men are that they might have joy . . . not guilt trips.

I've been a law-abiding citizen ever since I grew up in the Bronx, New York.