There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Every relationship is governed by motive, capability and reliability and these three factors become the core components of the trust equation

You cannot hide from the world. It will find you. It always does. And now it has found me. My split second of immortality is over. All that's left now is the end, which is all any of us ever has.

I thought it'd be cool to start my own university, in a way.

I think the only time that I worry about looking good is on the red carpet.

I will always make music with Stone Sour. Stone Sour will always be here.

Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be.

You can dwell on things, and if you open your eyes and pay attention to it, those things start popping up around you.

The day is not far distant when humanity will realize that biologically it is faced with a choice between suicide and adoration.

Theodore Dreiser Should ought to write nicer.

Refinement creates beauty everywhere. It is the grossness of the spectator that discovers anything like grossness in the object.