They (Expos fans) discovered 'boo' is pronounced the same in French as it is in English.

Someday, the Chicago Cubs are going to be in the World Series...

Hello again, everybody... It's a bee-yoo-tiful day for baseball.

Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.

It could be, it might be... It is, A home run!

I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air... So I trained myself to say 'Holy Cow' instead.

Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico.

I don't know what the big deal about Cracker Jack is. Did you ever go buy a pack of Cracker Jack, thinking you'd get a prize and find no prize in the box? (pause) Here's the pitch.

Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of something bad.

I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.

Anxiety is stemmed from worrying about the past and worrying about the future!

In life, never lose hope that you are nearing a dead end, Only when you reach the end of the road you realize a road to its left and to its right.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

I am bewildered at the length to which people will go to portray me so negatively.

The essence of the best thinking in the area of time management (practice planning) can be captured in a single phrase: Organize and execute around priorities

The presence of a firearm makes us all safer.

The living can assist the imagination of the dead.