They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were trite and boring.

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.

That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.

Kittens will make your sad go away

John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.

Cynicism does not cause inaction.

Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people i love?

You know if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes?

Nobody ever thinks of himself as a villain, does he? Even monsters hold high opinions of themselves.

There was no one, when I was in school, who talked about going in and blowing up students. The teachers were very stern and hateable, but nobody ever mentioned murder.

I'm constantly revising. Once the book is written and typed, I go through the entire draft again.

I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.

I am writing My Life to laugh at myself, and I am succeeding.

I really don't feel as connected to Heaven as I do to the ones where I was there from start to finish. And on this record I was there for every moment.

The world is on fire; time is a bomb. Ten thousand years are not enough When so much remains to be done

I'll never stop caring. But the thing about caring is, it's inconvenient. Sometimes you've got to give when it makes no sense to at all. Sometimes you've got to give until it hurts.

She placed her palm over his wound, pressing as hard as she dared. She would stop the blood. She would hold him and stop his life from escaping. She would hold life inside him and he wouldn’t die

I love reading and I love thinking - the reason that I love my books so much is that in order to write them I have to read and to think for years at a time about the same period of time.