They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.

I think photography is being recognized and collected. Its values have certainly gone up and continue to go up.

Opportunity may knock, but it seldom nags.

Everything's plastic, we're all gonna die.

Younger people have so many opportunities. I don't see any pessimism among them.

It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all.

That's sort of overkill. We've had 70 years of the Ryder Cup, and it's gotten along just fine. The pendulum will swing back without making a monumental thing about it.

Let us make hay while the sun shines.

He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.