They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

My wife could turn to me and she may say, 'Why do you love me?' And I can with all honesty look her in the eye and say, 'Because our pheromones matched our olfactory receptors.'

Homeopaths do not have a physical brain, but merely 'skull water' with the memory of brains.

If the Royal Variety Show was put in a matter transportation machine with the Royal Institution Christmas lectures, this is what you'd get.

I thought I better warn you that I am not one of those politically correct comedians, but it turns out that also I'm not really that racist, homophobic or woman hating either, so you might not notice

My life is constant revision but it's not revision, a lot of it is for the first time.

There can be a science to joke writing, there are certainly rules and patterns that can be followed, but I think most of the best comedy goes beyond the rules.

We very quickly forget about the wonderful things we've got. People lose their excitement because there's too much. Basically we're experiencing nothing, because everything is available to us.

I'm glad the universe is pointless. It means if I get to the end of my life, the universe can't turn to me and go, 'What have you been doing, you idiot? That's not the point!

Wherever you are on Earth, there is more life present than in the rest of the known universe.

Science is very cross-generational; you're not just aiming it at twentysomethings, or eightysomethings. Every town's got a really broad selection of people and age groups interested in science.

Courtesy with them is tariqa and following them is haqiqa.

Just because fate finds us our perfect match doesn't mean it's always easy and we don't have to work at it. Anything worth having takes fighting for sometimes."- Victor Marius

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

Except that a human being is both the public and the private. We are both, private and public in the same person.

I like that Ben & Jerry's is willing to speak out about social and political issues that aren't always safe - but are the right thing to do.

Stand on the gas, my friend. If your right foot doesn't ache, you're obviously doing something wrong.

The time has come to match outgo to income, instead of always doing it the other way around.

You learn by reading but understand by LOVE.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.