They're gonna make it look like suicide. I know how those bastards think.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

... The use of your gift for good is your responsibility. You must decide for yourself.

Employment is the exploitation of the employer’s courage, and, the employed’s fear of failure.

I like people who try to do big things.

The Zen master walks in his garden, alone. There is no traffic there. There is no shopping there. There are only the flowers.

The first is wake up in the morning and be grateful you are here, alive and healthy. And the second is: Give.

To me, every kitchen appliance is useful and nothing's overrated. When I look at my little espresso machine, I don't see coffee. I see a steaming valve as an opportunity to make amazing creme brulee.

On 'Morning Joe' I can say what I think, be my sometimes unorthodox self, have fun, yet be serious as well.

Enjoy the questions because they open many doors. Forget the answers because they always change.

It's like when you want to make a house... the technique is very important.

Doing good to others is not a duty. It is a joy, for it increases your own health and happiness.