They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

The difficulty does not lie in finding new ideas, but in escaping the long outdated belief in old ones.

There was something delightfully intimate about the relationship between predator and prey.

My car broke down. Instead of AAA, I called AA by mistake. They could only move my car twelve steps.

Each film does bring a new set of personalities and it can turn out great or it can turn out not great.

I turn into a crying, hysterical maniac when I see a spider. It's pathetic.

For even bad poetry has relevance for what it does not say for what it leaves out.

There's just certain things you don't think about to enjoy a film. Bullets in space are one of them.

Chuck Noll is building one hell of a football team up in Pittsburgh.

She starched and ironed her face, forming it into just what people wanted to see.