They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.

Your attitude of gratitude will bring you altitude in business and multitude in blessings.

When I was a child, there were not that many vaccines. I was vaccinated for polio. I actually got measles as a child. I got pertussis, whooping cough. I remember that very well.

It was very hard for me to practice and enjoy my tennis, and I didn't know the why, so I worked with psychologists to try and see what was happening. They pushed me really hard.

When people come together, they become much more productive.

I know my role and I play it well.

Truth is what the voice within tells you.

People ask the question, 'If you're offered VP, would you take it?' No, I won't take it.

We serve a God that does His greatest works when it becomes impossible for us.

I'm on good form. I'm an older guy. I feel healthy, I've been training, I'm looking after myself, I get up early. I look after the dogs. I'm happy.