They say money kinda melts when you take it across a border.

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken fried steak.

Backward is just not a natural direction for Americans to look - historical ignorance remains a national characteristic.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.

Uva uvum vivendo varia fit

People would be bored shitless if they had to love only the good in someone they care about.

A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back.

Half of what I write is imaginative reality. The other half is realized impossibilities. Blended into one, these make a fantasy.

To imagine is to spark beauty in our thoughts.

Instead of allowing a situation to alter your attitude negatively. Let your positive attitude alter the situation.

The moment you tell someone else is the moment you become a whiner and the world’s smallest violin starts to play. The truth is, we all have problems.

Do you even really know how vampires are made?' 'Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much.

Advertising ought to work by telling you what it is you want to tell, you should understand what you want us to do, what you want us to think, where you want us to shop.

I have a wardrobe full of expensive clothes, but wear the same two T-shirts. I've never found a look.

Out of routine comes inspiration.

I know you'll do what's best for Annabeth." "How can you be sure?" "Because she'd do the same for you.

Challenge everything, assume nothing.