They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Everything is just how I imagined it, yet everything is new

Government could avoid having opinions about so many things if it would quit subsidizing so many things.

Sports are such a great teacher. I think of everything they've taught me: camaraderie, humility, how to resolve differences.

[H]owever weak our country may be, I hope we shall never sacrifice our liberties.

If you are not royalty, He is not King.

You always project on the outside how you feel on the inside.

I'm connected to religion and that's how I access God. I'm in a relationship with God that can sometimes be informed by religion, but not dependent on religion.

Ideas are, in truth, forces. Infinite, too, is the power of personality. A union of the two always makes history.

Every artist is an unhappy lover. And unhappy lovers want to tell their story.

A movie takes on its own life, and you have to respect that and be open to it.