They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

I had said before that all stories were magic. It had never occurred to me that all magic was stories.

I don't necessarily like anniversaries that much.

The Lord filled me with desire, and made me feel that I must be as much with Him alone as with souls in public.

You know, a lot of people are loath to go to an orchestral concert because they are intimidated by the thought.

A power above all human responsibility ought to be above all human attainment.

I'm pretty obsessed with Stevie Nicks from her style to her voice. I like watching her on YouTube and her old performances, the way she moves and everything.

Anxiety is the gap between now and later.

I play a garbage man who moonlights as a stand-up comedian. Terrible.

I figured I would be teaching my whole life and making experimental films on the side.

I used to be, when I was young, I used to be extremely regular and very organized.