They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

We move but our words stand become responsible for more than we intended and this is verbal privilege

A Republic, if you can keep it.

People with advantages are loath to believe that they just happen to be people with advantages.

I'm big into stocks. I've invested in a lot of stocks. One day I was talking to my accountant, and he was like, "Yo, what if I could turn a million dollars into $20 million?"

The German national character is a favorite subject of character experts, probably because the less mature a nation, the more she is an object of criticism and not of history.

History is and should be a science.

My main goal now is waking up healthy every day and going on with life.

Recall that people like to do what most people think it is right to do; recall too that people like to do what most people actually do.

I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.

... Do not let the deeds and thoughts of other people confuse you; let them not prompt you to do or say anything evil!