Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

a good friendship is beneficial to both, a bought friend is a free enemy that no one can afford.

A Truthful Evaluation Of Yourself Gives Feedback For Growth and Success

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. H. L. MENCKEN

I have always loved locomotives passionately. For me they are living creatures and I love them as others love women or horses.

The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.

We reached a compromise [in film "Selling Isobel" ] - arty on the one hand, raw and crazy on the other.

I'm curious about life, period.

Values can't just be words on a page. To be effective, they must shape action.

Pain ... after you've lived with it long enough, isn't pain anymore. It's something else.

No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.