Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

You haven't learned anything, until you've read a good book.

I have so much hate that it has turned into love.

When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.

I love being in love.

I don't watch reality TV.

Tell me what are the prevailing sentiments that occupy the minds of your young peoples, and I will tell you what is to be the character of the next generation.

The universe is a thought of God.

Success may result in winning, but winning does not necessarily mean you are a success.

The Man of a Thousand Voices

I don't believe things happen in vain. I believe they happen for a reason.