Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

And, in the end, I knew there was nothing better in life than keeping the head and the heart up—and when you cannot see the shoreline, always putting one hand, one word, in front of the other.

As a child, I was raised with my grandmother, alongside all my cousins, and the kitchen was always full.

Proclaiming the gospel to a lost world cannot be just another activity to add to the church's crowded agenda. It must be central to who we are. It forms our identity.

Everything that you have done has led up to what you are now. Everything you do now will lead up to what you will be.

I've found that writing and playing music has so little to do with will, and so much to do with just finding what's there waiting for you.

My talent speaks for itself, I ain't gotta answer nobody else's questions. I'm going home, we're gonna have a party!

You're who you think you are, even if you never admit it to yourself or to anyone else. You may be in the worst position to judge, but you're in the best position to know.

Grow deep roots to harvest rich fruit! When your roots run deep, you cannot help but bear the fruit of the Spirit.

We can use doubt to self analyze. A measure of doubt can help us to attain self-honesty. But, like too much water, too much doubt will also destroy us.

I do know how to operate a computer. (Joe) Yeah, right. What was it you said just ten minutes ago? Get this damned thing off my desk before I shoot it? Now make the call, Mr. Hunt-and-Peck. (Tee)