Think of the funniest story from your life. Chances are, it was something awful at the time.

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.

If you know you can do it - if you can already chart every day in your future - then why bother? Choose to do something you have more trouble imagining. Take a chance.

My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.

Birthdays are a reward for having shown up 365 days in a row. It's like getting a badge for attendance.

How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds.

Confessions are like tattoos in that 1) You convince yourself that the immediate pain of going through the process means it won't bother you later on; 2) They are permanent.

Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?'

Laughing together is as close as you can get to a hug without touching.

Truth is like nuclear waste: it needs to be dealt with carefully. Sometimes it needs to be buried way, way out of town. And sometimes it should never be uncovered at all.

We should remind ourselves that laughing together is as close as you can get to another person without touching, and sometimes it represents a closer tie than touching ever could.

Ignorance is my refusal to think outside the box of my fears.

Don't waste time with people who waste time.

Be good, or be good at it.

Ambition soars and also slithers

[The crowd] will finally succeed in remembering only the simplest concepts repeated a thousand times.

I'm very confident I'm one of the best to ever play the game, but once you talk about the greatest, how can you define greatest?

My family was a Christian family. But I had to get to Kansas to play the blues.

Realizing full well that fine condition and confidence will not in themselves make a champion, it is my belief, however, that they are essential factors.

It's never too early for ice cream.

And it's impossible for me to read Henry James.