Thirteen at a table is unlucky only, when the hostess has only twelve chops.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

For some reason, I kept seeing it—it trembled and silkily glowed on my damp retina—a radiant child of twelve, sitting on a threshold, "pinging" pebbles at an empty can.

A poem is an event, like a wedding or birth.

Writing, unfortunately, takes last priority for my time but it's the first priority in my heart I wish I had all the time for. Such is reality.

If you can get some of the devil's money to use for the Lord's work, if you have to borrow it, it is all right and carry on the work.

Be active! Take on responsibility! Work for the things you believe in. If you do not, you are surrendering your fate to others.

[W.H.R.] Rivers is the Rider Haggard of anthropology; I shall be the Conrad.

I'm not a guy that sits around and does nothing.

MacPherson told me that my theorem can be viewed as blah blah blah Grothendieck blah blah blah, which makes it much more respectable.

Every friendship goes through ups and downs. Dysfunctional patterns set in, external situations cause internal friction, you grow apart and then bounce back together.

I'm baking stories, and singing cookies, oh the tonderous wimes!