This gathering is what I call "intimate " which really means "Where is everybody?"

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

Don't try to do great thing, but don't forget to do small things with great care and great love.

Never give up on your existence.

Shout for libraries. Shout for the young readers who use them.

I did not realize at the time, as I have discovered since, that anyone who attempts any thing original in this world must expect a bit of ridicule." Clarence Birdseye

They have been playing golf for 800 years and nobody has satisfactorily said why.

Questions about acting are difficult.

I don't look at myself as a commodity, but I'm sure a lot of people have.

Hip-Hop went from selling crack to smoking it

I think being an artist and taking on those challenges is just how it is for me. Because I was always a foreigner, I was always the outsider.

Common sense ain't common.