This guy put the suck in success.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

If there is one lesson I've learned from failure and success, it's this. I am not the outcome. I am never the result. I am only the effort.

If you look for problems, you will find problems; if you look for solutions, you will find solutions.

We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.

If you want to be successful, find someone who has already done it and do it the same way they did.

The damaged love the damaged. True fact.

Lucifer represents life, though, progress, civilization, liberty, independence. Lucifer is the Logos, the Serpent, the Savior.

Records should come from feelings. You shouldn't try to do nothing; it should just come out how you feel.

I breath wrestling. It's in my blood. I have kind of a confidence when I walk.

I hope I get married one day.

Don't offer God partnership when he wants penitence. Don't present him with lip service when He wants your life.