This is a lovely party, " said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.

Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of thecat, although in this case there were three determinate states the catcould be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

I never said nothing...""I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!

But all them things exist, " said Nanny Ogg. "That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

sometimes we have absolutely no idea where we are, we need the smallest clue to show us where to begin.

Lying is the greatest of all sins.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

We don't get too nervous for too may things, but on television a few million people are sitting there watching. Definitely a lot more nerves.

Women are, of course, more intelligent. Have you ever heard of a woman that would lose her head only because a man has pretty legs?

I figured out some basic stuff: that form and colour defines your perception of the nature of an object, whether or not it is intended to.

I love watching track and field - the 4x100 relay, the 100-(meter) dash, the 200-(meter) dash. To see what they're able to do, I love watching that.

There can be no greater gift than that of giving one’s time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return.

I'm not as thrilled with myself as I used to be.

The best way to get something good out of what you're doing is to put something good into it.