This is for the writers. I want to thank all the writers. I especially want to thank my fellow nominees because I worship you guys and I'm learning from you every day.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

…and all the other tools that mistook information for knowledge

But you're like me, ” he says. “An outsider. Different. A freak. We're both weird, which is why we get along.

Better to step out of your comfort zone, enjoy new experiences & not know what's coming your way, than stick to routines & be bored with the same end results.

Leadership cannot just go along to get along. Leadership must meet the moral challenge of the day.

What I want is to get done what the people desire to have done, and the question for me is how to find that out exactly.

In real life, as well as in experiments, people can come to believe things that never really happened.

There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.

I've thrown away lots of my old diaries - you never know who might get their hands on them. But I have kept a few notes on the good old days.

I've been born, and once is enough.

Women do come up to me after a show, but it's usually to say, 'Yhank you for making us laugh,' and all that.