This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Klaus sighed, and opened a book, and as at so many other times when the middle Baudelaire child did not want to think about his circumstances, he began to read.

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?

How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.”“My sister is a nice girl, ” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.

You fail because you fear. Be bold. Be fearless.

I'm not involved in politics, and I've never had any political role. I've never been in office. I've never taken any public administrative jobs.

I want things to be characters and not me. Why would I want to play me?

The phrase "Be Good to Each Other" is very important to me and something that I wish had been said more when I was in high school.

I'm not a leading man. I'm a character actor. That's what I want to be.

New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.

When I listen to Radio 1 and hear five different tracks in a row using old disco samples, well that's plagiarism, that's taking other people's music.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

Were it not for gravity one man might hurl another by a puff of his breath into the depths of space, beyond recall for all eternity.

When absolutes are abandoned for principles, the U.S. Constitution becomes a blank slate for anyone’s graffiti.