"This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

With heavy rainfall, the river will overflow its banks.

Happy are those who choose, those who accept being chosen, the handsome heroes, the handsome saints, the perfect escapists.

Patience means restraining one's inclinations.

You need a long hard day's work to reveal the logic of the craving for very bad tv and alcohol.

I'm a royal pain in the behind.

When we think we know people inside out and we think we know what's best for them we should try to remember we don't even know what's best for ourselves.

We got to keep on being a success.

I love Gossip Girl. I used to hang out with Blake Lively and Jessica Szohr. I'm also addicted to Bravo and reality shows like Top Chef.

I see architecture as a form of communication over time.

Obama's latest line is that he didn't establish a "red line" but the world did through its conventions on chemical warfare.