This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Prayer beautifies you

Inside the museums, | Infinity goes up on trial | Voices echo this is what salvation must be like after a while

Sometimes not getting what you want is God's greatest blessing.

Many church folk, in their self-conscious attempt to be overtly morally upright, emit all the wrong signals, thus messing with people's perception of the gospel.

The moral is the chosen, not the forced; the understood, not the obeyed. The moral is the rational, and reason accepts no commandments.

Had enough of my poetry yet? That's why they pay me to fight demons instead.

It is the privilege of adults to give advice. It is the privilege of youth not to listen. Both avail themselves of their privileges, and the world rocks along.

Not everyone is your friend. When you are psychic you tend to forget that others don't view life the way you do.

We need French chaplains and imams, French-speaking, who learn French, who love France. And who adhere to its values. And also French financing.

There is no pleasure pure and simple, and some care always comes to mar our joys.