This is where the gods play games with the lives of men, on a board which is at one and the same time a simple playing area and the whole world. And Fate always wins.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Was it magic? Of course it was.

The beckoning counts, not the clicking latch behind you

One has to commit a painting, ' said Degas, 'the way one commits a crime.

Now and then, someone is able to look at an empty space, conclude it would be a great place to start a revolution, and bravely go forward.

I'm a Libra. If someone compliments me, I'll say something nice to them. I like to give out compliments.

I'd always wanted to do these types of things - pieces of magic I could put out not as illusions, but really doing it.

I'm a very distracted person.

Neither is it safe to count upon the weakness of any man's understanding, who is thoroughly possessed of the spirit of revenge to sharpen his invention.

I was so wild and crazy and dumb in my car. It didn't run but 30 miles an hour. You made do.

Jesus is the very concrete truth revealing and standing in for the universal truth.