This is why it is important never to pick or smell flowers, and to always wear headgear when admiring them.

When asked what profession they like least, most people will give the obvious answer: clowns.

Nothing says you care like sending someone a kitten.

Brunch is such an odd thing. It was created by fat, lazy people who were too lazy to wake up at a reasonable hour and too fat to wait until the next proper time for dining.

The toughest part about riding a horse is overcoming the urge to eat it.

Sometimes the thing one wants most is the very thing that will get him killed with an axe.

If life was a piano light and darkness would be the keys. And shadows would be the melody that creates the harmony.

In the wide pile, by others heeded not, Hers was one sacred solitary spot, Whose gloomy aisles and bending shelves containFor moral hunger food, and cures for moral pain.

Police officers put the badge on every morning, not knowing for sure if they'll come home at night to take it off.

I love having the impulsivity to change course. I think it's key to keeping things fresh.

People seek for the spiritual champagne, but they mistake what it is.

Every family has bad memories.

For every $1 advertisers spend advertising something healthful like apples, they spend $500 advertising junk food.

The mistletoe hung in the castle hall, The holly branch shone on the old oak wall.