This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Unwavering incremental change can create remarkable and monumental results.

Envying another man's happiness is madness; you wouldn't know what to do with it if you had it.

Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

A painting requires a little mystery, some vagueness, and some fantasy. When you always make your meaning perfectly plain you end up boring people.

We're not thinking straight if we say we want to be like Jesus but we don't want to go through anything Jesus went through!

The permanency of most friendships depends upon the continuity of good fortune.

When I composed the first sonic meditation, I realized that I was composing the direction of attention.

It is not who you know it is what you know - If you don't know anything, you won't know anyone

The more hopeless you were, the further away they hid you.

In what we really understand, we reason but little.