This was the definition of eternity; it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

To accelerate success, we must get as close to our dreams as possible as soon as possible.

Henry James said there isn't any difference between "the English novel" and "the American novel" since there are only two kinds of novels at all, the good and the bad.

Stay at home mom is still a job.

Software as an asset isn't stable over time; it needs to be maintained.

It's my cologne. Eau de Recent Injury." (Jace)

MCJOB: A low-pay, low-prestige, low-dignity, no-future job in the service sector. Frequently considered a satisfying career choice for people who have never held one.

I like to walk down Bond Street, thinking of all the things I don't desire.

The manager has always shown a lot of faith in me, and the fact that I gave up my home in Barcelona and family in Barcelona to come to Liverpool shows how much faith I have in Rafael Benitez.

America doesn't respect anything but money. What our people need is a few millionaires.

Dissonance cannot be corrected by criticism.