This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.

Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.

I don't get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.

The imagination can be dangerous. It can change the world. And that is why we write.

Self-knowledge is essential not only to writing, but to doing almost anything really well. It allows you to work through from a deep place - from the deep, dark corners of your subconscious mind.

Osbert was the only one who didn't seem suspicious. He was so interested in the Decline of Western Civilization that he missed the version of it taking place under his nose.

While working in advertising, I channelled my creative energy into elaborate escape fantasies: cake making, dog breeding, the Peace Corps.

Things Happen and once they start happening you pretty much just to hold on for dear life and see where they drop you when they stop.

If you haven't been in a war and are wondering how long it takes to get used to losing everything you think you need or love, I can tell you the answer is no time at all.

The soldier had stamped my passport FAMILY in heavy black capital letters and I checked it now for reassurance and because I liked how fierce the word looked

Ask any comedian, tennis player, chef. Timing is everything.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

None of this is to deny that the Niger Delta has made mistakes. It has, and a good number at that. But then, mistakes are made to make wiser and therefore help in better decision making.

I'm already in hell

The ultimate solution to the problem of spiritual complacency is to create a systematically embedded culture of holy urgency.

I smile a lot. I heard someone say once that it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, so i'm trying it out.

If it weren't for radio programs like 'The George Jarkesy Show,' no one would know about 'The Amateur'.

Never make a decision when you need to pee.

A reading man and woman is a ready man and woman, but a writing man and woman is exact.

Whatever you need more of is what you need to tithe some.

Honestly, my personality is cool and easy-going. But once I started wearing skirts and put on some make up, I transform into that sexy kind of person.