This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Man boasts of his nobility, his ideals, and his progress. Man’s goal is imitation, not redemption.

Cats – by day the most docile of God’s creatures, every one of them in the night enlisting under the devil’s banner – took the place by storm after the human voice had ceased.

When i ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, i can feel the Spirit whisper to me, ‘you tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet.

Land on Mars, a round-trip ticket - half a million dollars. It can be done.

The moment you become aware of the silence, you also have become silent.

Some people say Hawaii is spoiled, but I don't think so. It's modern. It's a part of today's world.

It can be so terrifying to open yourself up to true love. That love can be with your mate, with your child, with yourself, because we are ultimately such vulnerable little creatures in this world.

The rich are those who play to win. The middle class plays not to lose.

The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media.

All the world's a stage ... and you better have a zoning variance or it's coming down.