This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Planning is the key to success, course he who fails to plan has actually plan to fail

"The good old days." The only good days are ahead.

The true mark of a Christian leader is trying to build up other people. Raise up other leaders!

Now Carlos Slim, as you know, comes from Mexico. He's given many millions of dollars to the Clintons and their initiatives.

I do an awful lot of scuba diving. I love to be on the ocean, under the ocean. I live next to the ocean.

Pay attention to that which sees the mind.

And if we can accept that a mother can kill her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?

The truth is that the spectators are always in their senses, and know, from the first act to the last, that the stage is only a stage, and that the players are only players.

Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.

Fashion is about affordable luxury ... To succeed, designers need to be affordable, wearable, accessible, and aspirational.